My idiot brother has managed to get his tongue infected by biting down on it during a meal.  He claimed he was starving and began wolfing down his food, only to bite a good chunk out of his tongue on one side, causing it to swell up considerably.  He's now on antibiotics and the swelling is subsiding.  Funnily enough, his tongue is far more swollen than mine ever was when I had a kebab skewer shoved through mine when I got it pierced all those years ago.  Bloody lightweight...